Jaclyn!

To the First Boy I Ever Loved

V1) She said to me, “you’ve never been in love/ you don’t know how this hurts”/ had to leave the room, don’t think she realized how/ she stung me with those words/ that got me thinking about you/ and wondering how you are/ hoping you remember that/ you’ll always have my heart/

Chorus) I don’t wanna kiss you/ I don’t even wanna hold your hand/ can’t help it that I miss you/ boy, remember you were my best friend/ but, we’ve both changed, gone separate ways/ I don’t know who you’re dreaming of/ after six years, it’s finally clear/ you’re the first boy I ever loved/

V2) I pulled the covers up over my head/ so no one else could hear/ I didn’t want to have to explain the reason for my tears/ ‘cause it’s all my fault that we turned out like this/ there’s no one else to blame/ maybe it’s for the best— we’re different people now/ but one thing has never changed/

V3) I didn’t realize/ at the time/ but now that I’ve grown up/ I’ve come to find/ that you still mean the world to me/ even though you’re not in my life/

Crème Brûlée

I thought
unconsciously
that you were the perfect crème brûlée.

If I cracked your hard shell
with the back of my spoon
I would uncover
luscious,
silky,
sweetness.

Bitter disappointment
discovering your custard had curdled,
and I wasted so many
precious calories
on you.  

Poem written by Jaclyn Reinhart, April 12, 2012

Sugar

Perhaps it is
all about
the journey,
the wanting, daydreaming,
the hours of delicious fantasy.

The sweetness of
sugar
and satisfaction of
palate
are rarely embodied
in the
outcome. 

Poem written by Jaclyn Reinhart, April 12, 2012

Self-Perpetuating

V1) It’s cyclical/ seems uncontrollable/ or maybe I’m just doing everything wrong/ it’s hard for me/ because I just can’t see/ a way to change or, at least, get along/ it’s self-perpetuating/ maybe I deserve the pain/ because I refuse to listen to/ my common sense/

Chorus) I’m fine—/ just a little bit lonely/ just a little bit lonely, but/ I’ll be alright/
I’m fine—/ just a little bit lonely/ and I know I’m not the only one/ you saw that rhyme/ coming from/ a mile away/

V2) It’s actually/ quite impractical/ because, in doing this, I’m hurting myself/ impatiently/ having to wait and see/ if I can find a man who may treat me well/ been feeling so damn lonely/ but, you don’t deserve my tears/ maybe that’s why my eyes won’t cry/ it must be true/

V3) all along, I’ve had it backwards/ time to look at something new/ I couldn’t have said it better/ you said, “make sure he deserves you”/

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, April 6, 2012

Desperate and Lonely

V1) You might be nothing special, but, if nothing else, you’re mine/ and that’s gotta be good enough for me/ there’s no use being jealous, what a waste of precious time/ I’d much rather focus my energy/ on making sure you’re happy/ so that you’ll stay with me/

Chorus) I just wanna— I just wanna—/ be with you every night/ instead of holding onto my pillow tight/ and having to sing myself lullabies/
I just wanna— I just wanna—/ have somebody that I can talk to/ preferably a man who looks just like you/ who’ll hold my hand and help me make it through/
or maybe I’m just asking for way too much/

V2) I might just be average, but, assuredly, I’m yours/ why can’t that be good enough for you?/ apparently, I’m willing to settle for less than great/ as long as he will settle for me, too/ funny how at one point in my life I said/ that that’s something I’d refuse to do/ but

V3) I used to look at girls like me/ and think, “so sad, you’re desperate and you’re lonely”/ looking in the mirror, hard to convince myself it’s true/ that I deserve someone so much better than you/ ‘cause

(chorus x2- second time, second stanza replaced with:)

**) I just wanna—I just wanna—/ feel comfortable in my own skin/ and not feel like I need a man to fill in/ the lonely space in my heart that’s poundin’/
apparently, I asked him for way too much/ 

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, March 3, 2012

Anonymity

Letting my name
and the words

“I

love

you”

remain alone on a
quarter-sheet of paper,
deciding not to include your signature,
allowing me to fill in the blanks.
The most power affirmation letter
I have yet received.

Poem by Jaclyn Reinhart, February 6, 2012 

Something New

V1) her tears/ fall/ like perfect drops of glass/ and they shatter as they hit the floor/ her cheeks/ are/ stained with black mascara/ because she doesn’t feel pretty anymore/ he said he couldn’t handle it/ that she was just too much/ and that he bit off more than he could chew/ he wanted an adventure/ he needed a break/ and he was gonna find something new/

Chorus) this world is way too big and beautiful to waste your time daydreaming/ letting yourself grow old, all cooped-up in this town/ ideally, wanderlust just seems so perfect/ but, she (he) thought that he’d (she’d) always be around/

V2) his tears/ are/ welling up inside him/ because he hurt her perfectly by mistake/ his cheeks/ are red/ cause he’s angry and embarrassed/ as he tries to hide behind the smile he fakes/ she didn’t try to fight him/ though he prayed to God she would/ because this was something that he had to do/ if she would have protested/ he would have insisted/ that they go together and find something new/

V3) ten years later, they ran into each other/ both had married, started families, settled down/ they swore that it was a misunderstanding/ and they both regretted not leaving that town/ together/ 

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, January 10, 2012

Here’s to Taking Chances

V1) I have no reason to trust you/ I should fully expect you to break my heart/ if I wanted to protect it/ I would harden myself from the very start/ but, they tell me that it’s worth it/ that the risk of heart break is worth the reward/ so, I guess I’ll take my chances/ because maybe finding love is what life’s for/

Chorus) so, here’s to shameless flirting/ hoping that I’ll find a guy who will absolutely make my heart sing/ so, here’s to awkward eye contact with strangers passing by/ because it just might turn into something/ here’s to sharing all my sober thoughts/ with any drunken boy I choose/ so, here’s to taking chances/ what have I got to lose?/

V2) I am terribly conflicted/ I don’t know whether I should go or stay/ because, leaving would be safer/ you can’t hurt me as badly from far away/ but, if I stay a little longer/ there’s a possibility that this could work/ maybe the flavor of your kisses/ is worth the chance that I may end up hurt/

V3) spontaneity is key/ the one thing you expect from me/ is unpredictability/ well, this could be a start/ taking all restrictions off my heart/ for absolutely everyone to see/ 

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, December 14, 2011

Hello, December

V1) it’s so cold/ that I can see my breath/ and my tears are frozen to my cheeks/ it’s so hard/ to fake my signature smile/ when I feel like an ugly, desperate freak/ you left this town/ without a single explanation/ but, you took the time to spell it out for me:/ you were sick and tired/ and bored and disappointed/ because I wasn’t what you thought I should be/

Chorus) well, hello, December/ I didn’t miss you/ I’ve always hated the snow/ because you bring back bad memories/ of being left under mistletoe/ I might have deserved this/ a feeling that I can’t shake/ so I’ll say, “hello December, hello heartache”/

V2) I’m so mad/ I’d like to punch a hole/ through the wall, but I’d break my fist instead/ I’ll break the mirror/ because your final taunt is something I/ can’t get out of my head/ so, when the snow/ comes falling down this winter/ I’ll be thinking about your icy, cold heart/ you said, “get a clue/ get a life and get off my back”/ intentionally tearing me apart/

V3) walking down the road/ boots crunching in the snow/ and I cried/ all of a sudden/ I slipped and I fell/ and to the Lord I yelled/ “why/ are they all runnin’ from me…?/ did I do something I just can’t see?”/

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, November 30, 2011

Hopeless Romantic

V1) i just wanna walk for miles/ talking about nothing with you/ introduce ourselves to strangers/ making fun of all the stupid things we do/ but, you prefer candlelit dinners/ and sending me anonymous bouquets/ yeah, it might be cute, but it’s not/ an expression of genuine feelings/

Chorus) as sweet/ as the love letters may be/ and as nice/ as the butterflies may seem/ when the roses and the perfume fade/ and you’ve found you’ve got nothing to say/ i’ll be unimpressed by everything i see/ you’re just a hopeless romantic/ something i’ll never be/

V2) i just wanna sleep beside you/ knowing that i’m safe here in your arms/ i don’t need chocolate or flowers/ i just want your smile, your wit, your charm/ but, you prefer to watch the sunset and hold my hand while wishing upon stars/ yeah, i think it’s cute, but is it/ really everything that we are?/

V3) because there’s this notion that “romance” is something i should not refuse/ and i appreciate the little things, but that’s not all you should do/ a real relationship needs to go beyond what is cute/ it’s not enough for me, scattered rose petals and perfume/ 

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, November 4, 2011

Thrilled

V1) over the years, I’ve learned not to expect too much/ because, when I do, I’m always heartbroken/ if my imagination didn’t run so wild/ maybe I’d be happier in the end/ try as I might, I simply can’t control myself/ and, not surprisingly, with you it’s the same/ as soon as I introduced myself, man, I was hooked!/ and all these crazy thoughts ran through my brain/

Bridge) and I just can’t wait…/

Chorus) **for you to hold my hand, telling me that you missed me/ you to pull my face so close to yours and kiss me/ I can finally shout for joy instead of screaming**/ and I’d be thrilled beyond articulation/ make me feel like I’m on top of creation/ gotta pinch myself to know that I’m not dreaming/

V2) every once in a while, I can convince myself/ that I never wanted you anyway/ that you were just a distraction and a waste of time/ and certainly not worth all the heartache/ but, usually, I don’t even get to this point/ because I’m way too busy thinking this is fate/ I can’t get myself to just step back and breathe/ and try to calm my hands as they shake/

**for you to constantly refer to me as “baby”/ you to say that, without me, you would go crazy/ I can’t even control my excitement, I’m beaming**/

V3) over the years, I’ve learned not to expect too much/ but, I’m hoping you’ll surprise me in the end/

**for you to ask me, “babe, will you forever be mine?”/ you to promise that you’ll love me for all of time/ as I say, “I do,” tears down my face are streaming**/ 

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, October 16, 2011 

Insatiable

A blank sheet of paper
happily disrupted
by my blood flowing through my pen
onto the page.
The insatiable need
to inspire
and to be inspired
sends lightning bolts through my fingers,
causing an itch
quenched only by writing these words.

Poem written by Jaclyn Reinhart, September 17, 2011 

Motorcycles

V1) They say:/ “once in your life, date someone totally wrong for you”/ I think/ that I just might; it’s something I think it’d be fun to do/ I’ve always/ been attracted to the rebels, I don’t know why/ as long/ as I’m taking chances, I figure I’ll give it a try/

Chorus) I wanna find a boy who rides a motorcycle/ who’ll take me ‘round this city on a ride/ I wanna fly so fast, feel like no one can catch me/ while holding him so tightly from behind/ I want him to be dressed in nothing but black leather/ and catch a glimpse of hell in his eyes/ and even though I know it probably won’t last/ I wanna do something so wrong it’s right/

V2) They say/ or so I’ve heard:/ “make sure the risk is worth the reward”/ well, guess what!/ I’m still young, and taking chances is what youth is for/ I’ve never/ had the courage to blatantly go against the grain/ something’s telling me it’s worth it/ my heart’s taking over my brain/

V3) Steph Zinone had it right/ wanted a boy on a bike/ and look how happy she was in the end/ obviously, I want that, too/ to feel shivers when I’m with you/ even if one night is all I get/ 

Chorus 2) I wanna find a boy who rides a motorcycle/ who’ll take me ‘round this city on a ride/ and I don’t even care if he’s wearing black goggles/ I’ll never be able to recognize/ as long as he is dressed in nothing but tight leather/ and I feel the fire of hell from inside/ it doesn’t make a difference if it never lasts/ I wanna do something so wrong it’s right/

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, September 10, 2011

Cafuné

V1) i don’t feel like following the rules tonight/ don’t tell me i should ‘cause, baby, i just might/ and i’ve worked so hard to keep my reputation high/ yeah, i’m probably scared, but that is nothing new/ i jump out of my skin whenever i’m with you/ as hard as i try to deny it, i think that it’s true/ 

Bridge) even though you’re bad for me/ i want you so much more/

Chorus) you could be my baby/ and i could be the lady/ that you’ve always dreamed of/ i can’t make a promise/ but, if we’re being honest:/ you’re the missing piece of/ my heart that has been smashed open/ a thousand times before/ i’ve found my way, i’m not afraid to say/ i want you so much more/

V2) i never thought i’d say this: baby, light my fire/ and tell me how to satisfy all your desires/ it may sound contradictory, well i guess i’m a liar/ ‘cause i’ve never done anything like this before/ i’ve told you time and time again: you’ll never score/ but, always saying “no” to you is becoming quite the chore/

V3) run your fingers through my hair/ and gently caress my face/ if i want us to be beautiful/ there are some risks i’ll have to take/

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, August 17, 2011

Miscalculated

V1) it’s not the way i planned it/ i didn’t see it through/ guess i should have known better/ than to depend on you/ but it could have been perfect/ i saw it from the start/ of course i got my hopes up/ and i broke my own heart/

Chorus) this is typical and terrible/ but, totally me/ because i’m convinced i’ve got this master plan/ i expect too much then i get hurt/ unjustifiably/ and i know it isn’t just because i ran/ out of time/ it’s just that i/ refuse to see the light of truth/ it’s sad to see/ but i know it’s me/ i’m not meant to be with you/

V2) it might be that i’m jealous/ i’m probably insecure/ could be a combination/ or neither, i’m not sure/ oh, it could have been perfect/ but, how could you have known?/ why would you reciprocate/ feelings i never showed?/

V3) or you or you or anybody else/ that i’ve wanted to hold me/ kiss me on the forehead/ telling me that i’m their only/ it’s pathetic; it’s sick/ i shouldn’t think about it half as much as i do/ but, since i won’t say who you are/ might as well spill the truth/

Lyric and Melody written by Jaclyn Reinhart, August 14, 2011